Relationships

Learning to Speak to Men

Next week will be our 5 month-a-versary!  Things have been great and a lot has been learned but new twists and turns of events bring new challenges.

Like the NBA Finals

“Are you serious Tammy?” “Unfortunately yes, I’m serious”

And my discovery?  I am a genius.  Here is now the official guide to:

SPEAKING TO MEN DURING THE NBA PLAYOFFS/FINALS

Attempt 1:

Setting – sitting next to Dave on the couch during a Celtics/Magic game

Reason to communicate – need to call someone

“Dave, is your phone in the room?”

[silence]

[glance over and see Dave’s phone on the end table next to him]

“Dave, can you hand me your phone?”

[silence]

[I get up, walk in front of the television, grab the phone off of the side table and walk back to my spot on the couch]

“Oh sorry, I could have handed that to you”

!!!!!!! Seriously??

My solution?  I should have said it like this:

“Dave, I need to call Dwight Howard and tell him to shoot better than that, can you hand me your phone?”

No doubt he would have heard me 🙂

Attempt 2:

Setting – I’m in the kitchen, Dave is in the living room watching the game

Need to communicate – realized I would like to buy additional plates to complete our set

In this situation, it is important NOT to use the NBA player name dropping tactic.

“Dave, can I buy the rest of these dishes?”

“Yeah, sure, whatever you’d like” [while not looking away from the tv]

Score for Tammy!

Attempt #3:

Well now recently I have gotten into actually watching the games with Dave so I haven’t had to use these tactics much, so I lost my touch.  Here’s what went down last night.

Setting – getting ready for bed, Dave is upset because the Celtics lost

Need to communicate – I have a chiropractor appointment in the morning, I’ll be gone before Dave wakes up

“I’ll probably be gone before you wake up, I have a chiropractor appointment in the morning”

This morning at 8:00 am I get a worried phone call while checking out of my appointment.  It’s Dave. “Where ARE you?!”

When he first woke up, he assumed I was out on a walk.  When I still hadnt gotten back, he looked outside and realized my car was gone.  He panicked and thought I had left during the night to go sleep at my parent’s house, upset at him that he was being grumpy at the game.

Haha!  Poor guy!

I realized what I should have said:

“Doc Rivers called, he’s meeting me at my chiropractor’s office at 7:30am”

Now you all know the secret to communicating with men during the NBA Playoffs/Finals.  Use it wisely!

P.S. GO CELTICS, GAME 7 IS YOURS!

if for no other reason than it will give me a very happy husband.  thanks.

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5 thoughts on “Learning to Speak to Men

  1. HAHAHAHAHA This is a brilliant post. Funny thing is, though, that I am usually the one that is so into the game that I am difficult to communicate with. These NBA Playoffs/Finals have been both uniting and dividing forces for Dan and I. For one, he is such a big sports fan now, whereas he was less prone to watching games before we got married. We had a blast watching the games together. On the other hand, he cheered for the Celtics (and constantly reminded me how great it would be to live in a city that is celebrating), and I was about 60% for the Lakers and 40% for the Celtics, due to my strong San Diego roots and early teenage fan-ship of the Lakers. It made for some interesting moments of loving competition.

  2. haha! Josh and I laughed about these! okay so I totally thought of what your apt was like when the celtics lost…bummer! Well maybe next year dave!

  3. That was sheer beauty and amazing wit, not to mention HILARIOUS. I have no doubt that you are going on to fluid and seamless communication by the time you hit your yearmark! HILARIOUS. And real bummer about the Celtics.

  4. This made me laugh. A LOT. I called Landon over and read it to him and we both had a good laugh. You’ve tapped into something truly brilliant here.

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