I feel like a Robot

I wake up in the morning and transform myself to look professional.  I board a mass transit vehicle with many other robots dressed up in suits to go to work stations.  Since they’ll give me a buck for every few minutes of work, I do it.  (Luckily I have great robot friends at work too that make it enjoyable).  I take the mass transporter home, to get into my small robotic vehicle and make my way around and through all of the others to get back to the box i live in, within a row of other boxes.  I then go to the gym to make sure that my robotic body will keep working for many years to come … why? So that I can keep doing the same robotic things I am doing.  Somewhere within these hours I have to remember to refuel.  Then evening comes and I lay in bed to recharge my battery so I can get up and do the same thing over again.

My life really isnt as pessimistic as this possibly sounds, but the philosophy of it all is interesting.  What do I really want to do with my life?  If I can be utterly honest for a moment, without sounding weird like some people assume it to be: I want to get married.  I want to have a family.  I realize every month or so – while my robotic life is often enjoyable and really is just fine (most of the time), what am I doing to move it forward toward the goals that I really want to have?  I go to church and lots of activities, but it seems that these days, people don’t meet people like they used to. A guy will ask for a phone number, and then what does he do with it? Send some texts then slack and not do anything.  What was the point of that?  I feel like when I am doing what I am supposed to be doing – dedicating myself to work, trying to eat healthier and exercise more, do the routine spiritual things, my life turns into a more routine machine itself, even though this is what I am technically “supposed to” be doing.  Where’s the spontaneity people!?

Like I said, my life is really fun and I and happier now than I have been in the last 5 months, but I have really started pondering life philosophies so this is one that maybe doesn’t even have an answer.

And I wont even start with the philosophy what I feel is one of my main desires in life – the whole starting a family thing but with experiences in the last 6 months that i have had, plus the list i have discovered of women I know whose husbands are leaving them for other women … do I really even want to do that? No matter how much you know or love someone, it seems to be such a gamble.  But I’m not even going to go there …

Robot Woman

4 thoughts on “I feel like a Robot

  1. Tammy, I love you! I can empathize with feeling like life is a bit too predicable and routine at times. I think you should come up to Provo sometime soon…that would out of the ordinary! We could go soak in a hot tub!

  2. I agree with every single thing you said here! I wish I could take two months off work and travel around Europe or do something that I don’t have to plan for months in advance. Love ya, Tammy!

  3. I like your honesty. And I like the fact that you actually think about your day to day life and what you’re doing with it. I thoroughly enjoyed this post. People’s lives overlap and you very often know what activities they’re doing but do you really know what they think about their life? Or what phase of their life they consider themselves to be in? Anywho, I just thought I’d tell you I like you and I like your post, you’re great!

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