So I just had a fun weekend full of wedding festivities and San Diego-ness. It was fun to bring some friends home and show them around my territory 🙂
A series of events over the last month or so has guided me to a new interesting thought. I’m a person who likes to crack people’s shells and really get to know them for who they are. I like close, intimate relationships with friends and I like to always create more of them with people I meet that I think are really cool. Sometimes it works great, there is a group of girls in my ward right now who are all single but I just think are the coolest people so I plan on playing with them a lot more this summer. For the last month I was riding high thinking I have good ability to crack people’s personalities and get them to open up to me just how I like them to. Recent realizations show that this isn’t true and that sometimes people are the way they are. I’m in no way trying to change people, I love getting to know people who are different from me, but many people are just too hard to get that close to.
Often I really dislike sarcasm, it just wasn’t something that wasn’t in my house growing up and maybe its also because I’m really bad at it and my feelings get hurt or I get really annoyed at people who use it excessively. There have been a couple of cases where I have tried to get someone to open up to me, and while it really seemed to be working later you realize that we are all trying to manipulate our surroundings for our purposes, so while I wanted to get to know these people and figure out what was under their façade, they were working toward their own purposes so it was a no go. Case One: The Player, Case Two: The Sarcast. I was trying a new theory that under these masks were people who wanted friends and deep connections and to really connect to someone, just like me, but in the end I was a little disappointed, you make progress then the next day they maybe aren’t sure how to keep that connection open and go back to the same false front that they had before, especially when in front of other people too. I found out that what I thought was a façade really had roots that went deeper into their personalities. While a superficial appearance may seem to be purely superficial and that they really aren’t that way if you really get to know them, if it is allowed to remain there long enough, its roots will dig deep.
I shouldn’t be disappointed, you don’t always click with everyone you want to, but here’s a toast to my effort of trying harder.